Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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