My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
