Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
