There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
