yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
