I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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