I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
