Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
