worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
