I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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