how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize