sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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