and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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