All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize