saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
