i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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