hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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