There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do vagina's smell?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
ttyl tear gas
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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