but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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