scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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