8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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