Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
