She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
