you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
