I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
