Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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