Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
