Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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