I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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