do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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