My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
