You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
