You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
