Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This is my gift to your gina
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
