woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
