oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
