so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
