I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
