i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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