I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
