quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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