Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
