I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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