You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
