I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
