we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I will be naked everywhere
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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