Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
