my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
