I wish I could teleport
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
