Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
