i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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