I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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