Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
