i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize