She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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