im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
