but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
