i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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