Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We don't watch enough power rangers
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
