still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize