I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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