Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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